Wednesday, February 9, 2011


People ask me how I’m able to be so confident. When they do, I always want to turn around to see who’s standing behind me. Surely, they don’t mean me. Some say I’m bold as a lion. I’ll stand down any foe. That much could be true. I would rather fall for what’s right than to stand for what’s wrong.

But Confident? If they only knew the wrestling matches that go on inside my mind. It reminds me of when I was a kid. Ok… a really young kid, for the record. When I took my bath I’d have wars between my left and right hands. They’d fight each other to the death. My right hand always won. Always.

I wish my confidence always won the battle of my inhibitions today. Sometimes it does. Other times I feel like I’m totally incapable of writing anything of value to anyone. That makes me feel so…. Umm… left-handed.

When I sit down at the computer to write, sometimes poetic words gush out like a waterfall. Other days, the only one who would be proud of what I write is my first grade teacher, Miss Beasley. But I’m a writer nonetheless. I’ve learned to ride those waves of confidence followed immediately by questioning why I ever thought I could string meaningful words together. It’s all required to be a writer. The ups and down. The ins and outs. The confidence and the utter lack of it.

I’ve also learned to capture the emotion of it all. My characters experience the same inner struggles as I do. Why not capitalize on my agony, right? If you are questioning your ability as a writer, do what I do. Have a fist fight in the bathtub. Oh wait. That’s not it.

Ride out the wave. Tell yourself you are a writer. Whether the words come out good or bad doesn’t change that. You breathe. Therefore, you write. Simple isn’t it? And a lot less messy than wars in the bathtub! 

1 comment:

  1. I'm feeling "left-handed" at the moment, Reebs. Haven't been truly, truly happy with my writing for several, well, months. But you're's totally about riding out the wave. And it's also such a good point that we can use those frustrating times to understand our characters and their frustrations better - like you said, capitalize on our agony! THanks for the encouragement!!