Today I'm halfway through NaNoWriMo and I'm NOT halfway through my word count. Characters are prickly. My plot is more windy than a mountain road. And then there was the suicide note inside my netbook.
I ran to Barnes and Noble Cafe since there are portraits of Kipling, Steinbeck, Eliot and Whitman. Surrounded by all those authors, how could I not be inspired, right? I ordered my oatmeal raisin cookie and Diet Pepsi (don't even think about commenting) and snatched up a table.
That's when I found it. The suicide note. Right inside my netbook, laying on the keyboard. The small, yellow handwritten note: "I know I'll never replace Belle in your life so I won't even try. I know your heart belongs to Belle. When she is healed and returns to you, I'll just end our relationship forever."
I would have called 911. After all, shouldn't someone be saved? Then it hit me. I was the one who wrote the note. Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better?! It didn't help that Elvis' Hunka Hunka Burning Love was blasting through the PA system in the Cafe. It was immediately followed by, "I'm caught in a trap, I can't walk out, because I love you too much baby..."
Ok, I know I really needed to call the cops but I had things to do. I still had two bites of cookie left and my diet pepsi was only half gone. Not to mention I had to write a blog. SInce I'm pretty new to this blogging thing I'm not sure whether I could write blogs in jail so I disengaged the "emergency 911" status on my phone and sat back in the seat.
People were beginning to stare because they could not see the humor in my suicide note. Particularly when I sputtered through tears of laughter, "It's a suicide note!"
After the manager and a couple of workers came to my table to see if they needed to call the guys in the white coats, I showed them the note. I resisted the urge to get an endless supply of oatmeal raisins and my sudsy soda by promising to not kill myself in their store. Umm... but that's a different story. File that one away for when I'm really, really hungry.
The funny, hysterical note was from me. This morning I was prepared to ship my netbook temporarily to a friend whose computer is sickly. I thought I was being comical and knew they'd get a kick out of the note. At the last minute we didn't ship it so I decided to take it to lunch.
The joke was on me. That's soooo like my NaNoWriMo characters. Always playing tricks. Hopefully, they'll let me back into Barnes and Noble at some point. No NaNo word count in B&N for me today!